


Family

by Tahlruil



Series: What I (Never Knew I) Wanted [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Blood Family vs. Found Family, Cullen Rutherford Has Issues, Dorian Pavus Has Issues, Established Relationship, Evil Inquisitor, Family Feels, Halward Pavus' A+ Parenting, How Do I Tag, M/M, POV Dorian Pavus, Protective Cassandra Pentaghast, Protective Cullen Rutherford, Protective Dorian Pavus, Protective Vivienne, Vivienne is Not a Bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2018-12-30 17:18:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12113496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tahlruil/pseuds/Tahlruil
Summary: Honestly, Dorian had thought the worst part about coming home would be Cullen finally ending things with Sylaera. He'd seen first hand how wildly unstable she was, after all, and she rather regarded the Commander as a personal possession of hers. Dorian had been sure that once that bit of unpleasantness was over everything would settle into a new normal. Though she might stomp her feet and perhaps bloody a few more noses, it wasn't like she could murder either of them, after all - Cullen commanded her forces, and Dorian was the only mage she seemed able to stand. He'd thought the worst she could do was rage at them, and then it would be over. Unfortunately, the Inquisitor is far more devious - and vicious - than he'd ever given her credit for.Oh, and there were still the small matters of Corypheus and Fade Rifts and something about the world ending. A dashing mage's work is never done.





	1. Home Is Where the Barkon Is

**Author's Note:**

> I finally started the second 'long' fic in the series - yay! Rating is for later chapters when there will almost certainly be smut.
> 
> Full disclosure, I agonized over this because what if everyone decides they hate the story, or maybe I forgot how to write Dorian, so this is me ripping off the bandaid. XD
> 
> Please leave me some comments? <3 Totally don't mind concrit, so if you have any bones to pick you may feel free to leave those also. :D

For all that he'd written Cullen and made his demands, Dorian Pavus didn't _really_ expect his lover to meet him at the gate. He'd never seen the man greet Sylaera that way, after all, and as Commander of the Inquisition he was often quite busy. No matter how they felt about each other, it was a simple truth that Cullen's time was in rather high demand. Especially during the day, when Skyhold was a bustling hive of activity, his _amatus_ did his best to be readily available to receive reports and address any emergency, no matter how small, immediately.

So when they reached the Inquisition's stronghold, dirty and tired and heart-sore, he was genuinely surprised to spot a blond head and a dreadful fur cloak among those milling about to greet the returning heroes. "Cullen!" He'd never really understood the urge to drop everything and run to someone - he'd found it sickeningly sweet. He hated romantic tripe. But in that moment, he forgot how he usually sneered at such displays, and he forgot that Sylaera still had (in some ways) first claim on Cullen. He forgot that other people were watching, and he forgot how much he loved and valued his staff. He dropped it right in the dirt as he ran to his _amatus_ , heart pounding in his chest. They hadn't been apart for all that long, but Maker's mercy had Dorian missed him. So much had happened, so much had been lost... he'd been looking forward to being wrapped up in Cullen's arms again for what felt like forever.

It was like a scene from one of Varric's books - he was sure of that later. As soon as he'd heard his name, Cullen had looked up; when he saw Dorian coming toward him, he began to run as well. They met in the middle, where his Commander immediately wrapped his arms around Dorian and hefted him up - despite everything, it made Dorian start to laugh, and the blond joined in soon after, spinning them around in a circle. When they came to a stop, Cullen carefully lowered him back to the ground and pressed his forehead to Dorian's, eyes closed and his lips moving in what Dorian thought was a quiet prayer. He basked in the presence of his _amatus_ , in his scent and the warmth radiating from him, the tickle of that ridiculous fur on his throat. Much to his horror, he could feel himself starting to tear up. It had been such a horrible experience, and it was killing him to know that Krem and Dalish and the others weren't there to be welcomed back to Skyhold. They never would be again, and he knew there were people at the gate waiting for The Bull's Chargers to come marching and singing through the gates, but they'd be waiting forever because the Chargers were _dead_

Cullen straightened, and he felt the small loss of contact keenly. Not for long though, because moments later Cullen tugged off his gloves, letting them fall to the ground before he framed Dorian's face. Gentle, calloused thumbs carefully wiped away his tears, the move disguised as a caress so Dorian could save face and pretend he wasn't crying at all if he needed to. His _amatus_ was so thoughtful and so solid, and part of Dorian wanted to hide away in that drafty tower of his and never come out again.

"Welcome home, love." Cullen whispered, relief and sorrow mingled in his tone. "I missed you."

"I missed you too _amatus_ ," he replied instantly, his own voice rough and raw with emotion. "Can we... I'm so tired, Cullen. Could we-"

"Retire? Of course. Cassandra has offered to oversee my duties for the rest of the day; between her, Nylan and Kattrin, the Inquisition will make it through my absence just fine. We have new quarters now, but I still have a bed in the tower if you'd rather go there. Our room is farther away - if you're that tired, perhaps it would be better." The tower was a familiar comfort, one that he'd missed and longed for... but the thought of going to a room that would only ever be _theirs_ was certainly an appealing one. He should just pick one, should just name either place so they could leave before Sylaera found a way to ruin everything, before anyone thought to ask him any questions about what had happened. It should be easy... but he found himself paralyzed and unable to come to a decision. His _amatus_ knew Dorian's mind better than any blood mage ever could, because he suddenly smiled and brushed his lips against Dorian's in a move that was more of a nuzzle than a kiss. "Let me take you to our new, home, Dorian. That's where I told Kattrin to bring Felix anyhow, and there should be a bath there waiting for you. I can send for food while you reunite with our Barkon and have a soak, and I can pamper you for a time."

"And I could perhaps have a nap as well?" he asked, hating the pleading, hopeful note in his voice.

"A nap you shall have," Cullen agreed, pulling away from him. Dorian had to bite back a whimper of distress at the loss, and again his Commander anticipated him. Strong, calloused fingers wrapped around his, giving him a point of connection to hold onto. He refused to look around at the crowd, refused to try and catch a peek at the Inquisitor's expression. All of their opinions were worth about as much as a pile of nug shit, so he would ignore them. He went so far as to turn his head so he could hide his face in Cullen's shoulder, trusting the other man to lead him safely home.

The path they took was a winding one - he had a feeling that his wonderfully thoughtful _amatus_ was leading him through the less frequented areas of Skyhold to get them there. It was both strange and wonderful to keep his eyes closed as they walked. Dorian was able to focus more on all of the information his other senses were giving him. He could hear the echoes of other people walking and talking, and Cullen's voice was a rumbling delight every time he whispered 'stairs' or 'left' or other directions into his ear. He caught a brief whiff of the kitchen, had Cullen's soothing scent always wrapped around him, and he felt cold wind dragging over his skin twice before they got where they were going.

When they came to a stop, Cullen let go of his hand and moved to stand at his back, arms sliding around his waist. "We're here," he murmured into the nape of Dorian's neck. "Josephine found us something away from the hustle and bustle... I hope you don't mind. I know how you like to be the center of attention." Dorian made an offended noise as he opened his eyes, though he knew the way he settled his hands over Cullen's sort of ruined his attempt at pretending to be upset.

"I'll have you know, you uncouth barbarian, that it isn't that I enjoy such a thing. It is simply that I am so marvelous that other people cannot help but stare at my magnificence. Being away from the crowd is probably an advantage - now that the masses won't be so distracted by me, perhaps we can finally get on with the business of defeating that Corypheus fellow." As he spoke, he was taking in the hallway they stood in. He could tell it really was out of the way. The far end hadn't even been completely cleared of rubble yet, and he couldn't hear anything that would indicate another living soul being anywhere near them. Dorian liked that, liked knowing that while Cullen clearly had no qualms about acknowledging him in public, they had a place to retreat to away from the outside world.

"There's a small problem with your theory, Dorian."

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"I'm the Commander of the Inquisition," Cullen breathed against his ear. "And I am always, always distracted by you." The admission gave him chills, and he gave Cullen's hands a brief squeeze before letting go and stepping away.

"Will I require a key to get in?"

"You will. I won't have anyone barging in on us at all hours to inform me that one of our horses has taken ill or that the newest recruits have been covered with honey as a way to warmly welcome them into the fold."

"... honey?" The other man groaned as he stepped around Dorian and fitted his own key into the lock. Again Dorian felt something inside of him go soft and squishy; Cullen really had thought of everything. The obvious effort to keep the rest of the world from intruding - which would hopefully keep Sylaera out as well - touched him deeply.

"Yes. Honey. This was after they'd been tricked into allowing themselves to be buried up to their waists. It was absurd, and it took almost two days to sort the whole mess out. I was rather stern with those who thought up the prank - it wasted so much energy, and what if we'd been attacked or had to set out while it was going on?"

"You soldier-types get up to very strange things," he said as Cullen swung the door - _their_ door open. Heart fluttering in his chest, Dorian stepped inside when Cullen gestured for him to do so, trying not to get his hopes up. Cullen was a simple man with simple tastes, after all, and his decorating skills left something to be desired. He was fully prepared to be underwhelmed, and already planning how he might redecorate to suit both of their tastes. It would be tricky, but he was sure he would be able to manage.

What he actually saw, however, left him speechless.

The word 'room' was something of an understatement, and Dorian had no idea how he'd managed to wrangle this suite away from Josephine. There were at least three rooms that he could see, two of which were through open arches - the one they were in now, a bedroom, and what appeared to be a study for the both of them. The decor of their receiving room (and oh, did he love the elegant way that sounded even in his own mind) had clearly been taken over by Vivienne. He saw touches of her tastes everywhere, most notably in the jewel tones of the upholstery and the Orlesian make of their dining table and chairs. The thick, plush rug that dominated the 'living' part of the room, however, was Tevinter in origin, and he adored her for making the small concession. The mantle above their fireplace held several of his own trinkets as well as a few that had to belong to Cullen, and the tapestries on the walls would certainly help with the draftiness that was part of living in any large stone building. It was lovely, and he wouldn't need to touch a thing - even if the purple and blue pattern of their couch was a bit... loud for him. The color scheme didn't extend into the bedroom, so he could live with it.

The steaming tub he could see in the bedroom caught his interest, so he ignored the study for the time being in favor of wandering that way. Cullen followed after him, and as soon as they got there began stripping off his armor. There was a stand for both of them, Dorian noticed absently as he took it all in. Here the main color scheme was a deep red and a rich brown, and the duvet was thick and probably very warm. One whole wall was made of glass with warm wooden framing and a door that led to their own balcony, and Dorian was nearly ready to ask if someone had practiced blood magic to land them this set of rooms. There was simply no way he could imagine Josephine letting a member of the Inquisition have them when they could have gone to visiting dignitaries instead. Cullen also had to have had quite a few workers doing repairs day and night to accomplish this so quickly. It was... well. It was almost enough to make a man tear up, is what it was.

"Cullen... it's beautiful," he whispered, turning in a circle to take the room in once more. "Did you duel Josephine to the death to secure it?" The other man just chuckled and shook his head, still in the process of getting rid of all his armor. One of these days, Dorian was going to learn how it all worked so he could help his Commander with the process. "I'm not jesting, _amatus_. Were there bribes involved? Did you slay a dragon that was threatening a wealthy family? Perhaps there was a game of wits with our resident spy mistress? Did you best all of them at chess?" Cullen was laughing at him now, a sound that warmed his tired body right down to the tips of his toes. "Thank you, whatever you did in order to snatch it away from Josephine and her minions. I... no one has ever..." As he struggled with his words, the other man - now stripped down to a cotton shirt and soft leather breeches, feet bared to the Maker and the world. For some reason, the sight of Cullen's ugly feet nearly undid him. Tears welled in his eyes and he felt emotion curling into a tight ball in his throat. "I'm just so happy to be home."

Strong arms wrapped around him and drew him into Cullen's chest, where he tucked his under the man's chin. "And I am happy to have you home," he whispered into Dorian's hair. "I know you won't sit safe in Skyhold while the world is falling apart - Maker knows I hate it. I also know that you're the only mage Sylaera really trusts, so she will continue to take you away from me. I just..." He paused, and his arms tightened almost to the point of pain. "I don't know. I wish I wouldn't have to miss you so often."

"It won't be forever," Dorian promised, clutching at the back of Cullen's shirt. "Once we defeat Corypheus-"

"I know." They were interrupted by a knock, and Cullen drew back with a quiet sigh. "I'm sure that's Kattrin with our Felix. Why don't you start getting your armor off? I'll bring him in and you can cuddle him for a bit before your bath. Do you want food before or after your nap?"

"After, I think. I'm going to cry when I see Felix, so tell Kattrin I'll come by later. Only you may witness the shameful behavior I'm about to display." Cullen leaned down with a smile and gave him a quick kiss before walking away. Even if he knew it was only for a moment and only to fetch their dog, Dorian couldn't help but feel a little forlorn about it. The sigh he heaved should have been enough to blow the walls down, but he did as Cullen had told him and began to get out of his dusty, worn armor. He couldn't be bothered to put it away neatly, and much of it needed repair or replacing anyway - varghests were a Blight upon the world, and he was going to have a few words to say to Leliana about her 'conservation' efforts. In any event, he was tired and didn't care at all about proper armor maintenance, so he let it all drop to the floor. He could hear Kattrin and Cullen conversing quietly over Felix's anxious, excited whines. The pup knew he was home, and Dorian imagined him wriggling and wagging in Kattrin's arms, trying to escape to get to him. If he didn't think he'd burst into an embarrassing puddle of sentiment, Dorian would have joined them. He was deeply curious about Kattrin's young man and her wedding plans, after all, but it was better to wait. He would see her after he bathed, napped and had something to eat, perhaps, or maybe he would wait until the morning - despite being very fond of her, Dorian had no desire to allow the dear girl to witness his blubbering.

He was down to only his trousers and checking the temperature of the water when he heard Felix begin to bark madly, followed closely by the galloping of paws on stone. Turning toward the door, knowing he was smiling far too wide to be greeting a dog but not caring in the slightest. He dropped to the floor just in time for a barking, slobbering mess of a puppy to jump into his arms. Whining and wriggling frantically, Felix delivered canine kisses all over Dorian's face. On a normal day, he'd have been rather put off by the amount of drool... but he was far too busy running his hands over his Mabari's soft fur and trying not to cry. "Yes yes," he whispered, gathering his Barkon into his arms and hiding his face in the pup's side. "I missed you too, you lumbering beast. You still may not get into the tub with me, I hope you realize - I can't stand the smell of wet fur."

"I'll keep hold of him," Cullen offered quietly. When Dorian looked up, he was leaning in the doorway, bare except for those damned breeches. Later, when he was feeling more energetic and less vulnerable, he would definitely have his lover pull them on again. "He would try to join you otherwise, I think." They shared a smile, though Dorian's was trembling, and then the warrior pushed away from the doorway and padded over to them. Though his stated intention had been to hold Felix, he sat behind Dorian instead and pulled him into the 'v' of his legs. Giving a quiet, happy sigh, Dorian rested back against his Commander's chest with a still squirming puppy in his arms.

Cullen crooned softly to them both - he had a nice if rough singing voice, though he rarely shared his talents. Felix quite enjoyed it, and he settled a bit more quickly than he might have otherwise... but it still took long enough that Dorian was nearly asleep when the Mabari finally stilled.

"Dorian?" Even Cullen's breath moving over his ear couldn't stir him; Dorian only turned his head to nuzzle the man's neck. "Do you want to nap before you have a bath?"

"Have you gone utterly mad?" he asked, only managing to sound tired instead of aghast. "I am absolutely filthy. If you were this dirty I wouldn't let you anywhere near our bed."

"That is... good to know. I am of the opinion that sheets can be changed, however, so if you don't want-"

" _Amatus_. I am disgusting."

"You're falling asleep."

"I'm covered in dog drool, dirt, and dried blood."

"Dried _blood_? Dorian what-"

"It's not _mine_ \- we ran into some Venatori just before we got to this abysmal mountain range, and I decided to wait for a real bath to get some of it off. I'm not incompetent, I'll have you know. I am a very skilled and very scary mage."

"Of course you are. You're also exhausted."

"And filthy."

"Dorian."

"Cullen."

"You're being very foolish, you know."

"Mmm."

"If you must bathe before you sleep, we should get you in that tub now. You can doze while you soak."

"If I ask nicely will you wash my hair?"

"I am at your command." Those words, whispered against the shell of his ear, finally roused a bit of genuine interest from Dorian. Nothing he could follow up on in the immediate future, of course... but it was something to tuck away and ponder later when he wasn't so tired his bones ached. "Now come on - let's get your trousers off."

"That's rather naughty of you, Cullen." It was probably for the best that the other man began to ignore him or they might have kept bantering for the rest of the day. He carefully took Felix from Dorian and set the pup down beside him, and then his hands went to Dorian's laces. He undid them with quick, efficient movements, and then he was urging Dorian up to his feet. It was nice, he decided as he obeyed, not to have to think. All he had to do was follow Cullen's direction - he knew his lover would take care of him. Before he knew it, he was sinking into steaming water that was _just_ the right temperature. Cullen must have ordered it filled as soon as he was told their party was drawing near, and it had cooled perfectly. The groan he let out as the water enveloped him would have made a virgin blush - Cullen only smiled at him and pulled Felix into his lap.

Dorian half-listened as the other man began to fill him in on what had happened in Skyhold while he was gone. Cullen's voice lulled him into a light doze, though he tuned in whenever he heard names that genuinely interested him. Still, he knew that most of it would have to be repeated later. The words lingered only briefly in his mind before they were lost again, because he was still not thinking. He must have soaked for at least an hour before Cullen finally got his attention by taking hold of one of his hands to press a kiss to his wrist. Even that earned only a twitch, but as his mouth moved higher and higher, passing over the inside of his elbow (which did _not_ make him giggle) and all the way to his shoulder, with Cullen leaning over the edge of the tub to place the last few kisses.

"Much as I love you, _amatus_ , I simply don't have the energy. If you promise it won't disturb my nap, you can ravish me once I'm asleep."

"Dorian!" Cullen's laughing exasperation warmed the very heart of him, and he let his lips twitch up in a smile. "Maker's breath. I just want to wash your hair so you can nap in our bed. It doesn't always have to be about sex, even if you are exceptionally dashing."

"I am, aren't I? You are a lucky man. Very well - you may commence with the hair washing. Then a nap, perhaps a nibble of something, and _then_ with the ravishing." Even as Cullen laughed, he was moving to be behind Dorian again, this time to gently guide him under water. His fingers were sure and strong but incredibly gentle as they massaged soap into Dorian's hair - it was enough to turn him boneless with pleasure. It didn't last nearly long enough, and only another soft promise that he could sleep soon kept him from begging Cullen to continue. Once Cullen had rinsed the last of the suds from his hair - not even making him dunk under the surface again, choosing to ferry water in his cupped hands - he urged Dorian out of the water.

While his partner began to towel him dry, Felix was happy to 'help' by licking the water from the top of Dorian's feet and his legs. It was rather disgusting, really, but he'd also missed his darling Barkon so he chose to let it continue. The fireplace alone kept their room nearly warm enough, and their new bed was piled high with blankets, so Dorian decided to forgo any clothing. He even insisted Cullen take off the trousers (to save for later) before the blond was allowed to join him in it. The bed was far more comfortable than either of their previous beds, and low enough that Felix could hop up onto it all by himself.

With their Barkon tucked against Dorian's back, he in turn snuggled up to Cullen, Dorian was more thankful than he could say to be back in Skyhold. It wasn't home, not exactly - he wasn't overly fond of the place at all, if he were being honest. Home was Cullen, who was stroking his fingers through Dorian's hair again, and a beastly, wonderful Mabari snoring behind him. Wherever his dog and his lover were, that was where Dorian belonged too.

"Love you, _amatus_."

"Love you too, Dorian."

"I'm dreadfully... dreadfully glad to be home," he murmured, a jaw-popping yawn interrupting his words.

"I'm glad to have you here. Go to sleep, love. When you wake up you have a study to explore while I get us something to eat."

"And then we shall... commence with the ra-a-a-avishing, during which you shall do all of the heavy lifting. And you have to.... have to put those breeches back... back on." It was incredibly rude of his body to keep yawning while he was trying to make a point, but he supposed he'd have to suffer through it. He did tend to talk too much, after all. Finally taking the hint, he didn't respond to Cullen's wry 'of course'. He just drank in the feeling of warmth, safety and home until he drifted off into the first restful sleep he'd had since arriving in the Storm Coast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a tumblr that I am in possession of, and you can find it [here](https://tahlreth.tumblr.com). I mostly rebolog random shit, so if that interests you please drop by. XD You can also leave me prompts, either for these two dorks or other Dragon Age pairings/ideas. It does take me a while, but I try to get to all of them.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope it didn't suck. XD


	2. Making the Rounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally just wanted to write Dorian with most of his closer friends who are not Cullen, so that's what I did. XD Totally self-indulgent chapter. I promise there will be plot in the next chapter. XD
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3 Comments, maybe?

Dorian had never been a fan of walking along the walls - he did it for Cullen and Felix, but they were very nearly the only exceptions. Even when simply traveling through the Keep, he would take the long way around whenever possible. He didn't like the wind, he didn't like the cold, and he didn't like looking out across a seemingly endless wasteland of ice. It was different when he was with his _amatus_ , because Cullen helped him see past the element that was so at odds with his nature. Cullen let him see the beauty there, the way that everything was the work of the Maker - who was possibly even _real_ and in possession of a wicked, terrible sense of humor for picking Sylaera Lavellan as his chosen one. With Cullen at his side, the cold receded enough that he could see potential there at the end of the world.

Felix was uninterested in the wall now that he was not allowed to pee on it, and they walked along it only to shorten the trip to the garden where he could piss on things (and on occasion people he noticed treated Dorian poorly) to his heart's content.

Cassandra, unfortunately, seemed enchanted by the bloody things of late. Dorian suspected that was largely due to her ongoing fascination with Hawke and subsequent inability to actually try and converse with the man. Under the guise of helping him to 'exercise' - she declined when he offered to disrobe to show her that he was well muscled enough, thank you - she would drag him up the stairs by his ear if necessary whenever he stopped by to chat.

It was almost enough to make a man stop visiting, really. The way she'd only laughed when he made the comment in her hearing reinforced the belief. Truly, if she wasn't so dear to Cullen's heart, he would leave the woman to her surly bouts against training dummies and her tragic haunting of Varric's footsteps 'for information gathering purposes only, Dorian, and if you insinuate anything so vulgar ever again I shall.... I shall... well you will not like it, I can assure you of... why are you winking at me? I demand you desist immediately!'

Poor girl didn't even know she was pining. He'd have to see if he couldn't... help things along. Simply as a way to repay her for all the exercise he was getting, of course.

Until he could set such a thing in motion, he would settle for loud and repeated whining.

"I'm _so_ glad you've brought me up here again, Cassandra. I do so look forward to our daily attempts to turn into immaculately formed ice sculptures. I've no idea what I would do with myself if we could be like normal people and head inside to have a little chat and perhaps a fortifying stein of mulled cider. All the feeling might return to my toes, and we can't have _that_ now can we. And oh, look. Mountains! Never seen those before on our little strolls, have we? You do know how to spoil a man with riches, Seeker."

"If I pushed you over the edge, only Cullen and your dog would fault me," she said in an idle manner. Dorian, of course, knew her well enough to see through to her well-hidden depths and find both fondness and amusement. "I may even receive a medal for services rendered to the Inquisition."

"Ah, but you'd also almost certainly be travelling with Solas whenever you went off to swing pointy sticks with our beloved Inquisitor. Is that _really_ worth a bit of shiny metal you can only wear with the fancy clothes you hate so much?"

"Not on its own merits, perhaps. But when I think of the quiet I would also gain, I find myself tempted indeed."

"I really have no idea why I continue to afflict myself with your company."

"Your noble upbringing is at fault here, I believe. I know that is why I allow you to burden me with your nattering presence."

"My darling Seeker, I think we're about to have a moment."

"Not if I push you over the edge first."

Honestly, Dorian didn't only spend time with her because she was important to Cullen. It wasn't even the added perk of finding ways to embarrass her when it came to her 'non-existent' feelings about Varric. He was - dare he say it - almost fond of the woman. Cassandra understood what it was to be raised with noble blood in a way no one else he considered a friend truly did. Even Vivienne observed the pomp, circumstance and farcical nature of court living primarily as an outsider. Oh, she worked the system like no one he'd ever seen, but she'd come into it late. Cassandra understood the mind-numbing complexity of it, the way you were expected to forfeit _everything_ to a family name that would always be more important than your own. She knew what it took to fight against those particular odds, knew what it was to love and hate that all-encompassing family name in equal measure. He felt... connected to her.

If pressed by Cullen or Kattrin, he might even admit to liking her sharp, blunt responses. True wit wasn't always her strong suit, but she still never lacked for a reply that had him biting back a grin. To himself he would even, reluctantly, own up to the fact that he was staring to view her as family, of a sort. On Cullen's side, no doubt, but still - the bond was there. She wasn't quite a sister, but was more than a friend; it was a strange place to be with someone who had so obviously doubted him when he'd first appeared on the scene.

"Darling, if you even try I shall not only bring you down with me - and you will be on fire as we fall," he told her sweetly. It wouldn't do to behave in a way that would make it openly obvious just how far beyond mere tolerance his feelings went.

Cassandra probably knew anyway, of course. She was fairly observant when it came to anything apart from hairy-chested dwarves.

~.~.~

"Must you _hover_?"

"It's part of being a scary blood mage from Tevinter, so alas. I must."

"You are neither a blood mage nor particularly frightening."

"I will have you know that I am an absolute horror. Terrifying in my majesty and might, resplendent in m--"

"Dorian, some of us are trying to concentrate. We had your lesson in healing minor abrasions and fractures yesterday. Is there a purpose to your visit, or...?"

"You know, Solas, if one didn't know better they might almost think you don't find me a charming and necessary part of your day."

"They would assume correctly."

"I do believe I find that hurtful. See if I activate any more of those globe things for you ever again. I'll be like Sylaera and simply ignore them. It's not like I give a fig if the Veil is a little weak."

"... it appears I have made a slight error. Forg--"

"Never! I forgive nothing and you shall be forever in my debt because of it. Here are the locations of the artifacts I found, in case you're keeping a map or something of the sort."

"I suppose I owe you my thanks."

It didn't escape his notice that Solas didn't actually _give_ his thanks, and Dorian wasn't even close to surprised. He wasn't offended, however - not when the small smile on the reticent elf's lips didn't escape his notice either.

~.~.~

Dorian avoided Bull like the plague.

It was hard to even think about talking with him as an acquaintance, let alone a friend. He saw the Qunari often on his way to visiting Sera; sometimes he managed a nod of agreement. Bull didn't seem to begrudge the change between them, which was almost enough to irritate him into shouting at the lummox.

Instead he kept his distance. In his mind, his former lover was as good as dead anyway.

~.~.~

"Drag your arse a bit closer to the edge, yeah? Isn't really roof-sitting if you're not close to toppling off."

"Why must almost every woman in my acquaintance be so bloody fascinated with death-defying heights?"

"Just lucky, I guess. Now shut it, you robe-y shite, and enjoy the view."

Dorian rolled his eyes but did as he was told. The fact that his favorite unbalanced Elven lady was talking and smiling was a small miracle, and one that he had no intention of ruining. Sera was swinging her legs merrily, watching those moving below them with sharp, calculating eyes. Too many overlooked the mad intelligence in favor of seeing only her... eclectic choice of words and wardrobe. She was smart as a whip in all the ways that mattered - every fool who underestimated her deserved the arrow in the face they received.

Sera was also a bit mad, but Dorian strongly suspected that every member of their troupe was.

"Brought Skinner up here once," she told him quietly, legs falling too still and her expression going distant. "Hated it, yeah? Just like you. She wasn't as _fancy_ or _posh_ about it though. She was good people."

"She was. I'll miss her."

"Me too. Planning a thing for the Alienage place she grew up in. Nobles 'round there are shite-stains through and through. Figure they could be taken down a peg or two, brought closer to the little people. If the little knife ears in the Alienage get a few hot meals out of it, ain't no skin off my nose. Thought maybe it might... you know."

"It's a good way to remember her," he said softly, eyes still on the horizon. It was the best way to keep himself from falling off and to keep Sera from getting defensive. "Just make sure the 'thing' you do is nice and bloody, with knifes involved. She did love her knives."

"Every lady should. ... do you want a cookie?"

"I suppose I could suffer eating one if you've brought some along," he answered with a shrug before looking her way. "Did you really drag a plate of cookies up here with us?" Sera answered by dragging a picnic basket - from where he wasn't sure - and pulling a small plate of cookies out of it. "You mad, clever little thing. Yes yes, I'll take one please. They look..." terrible, they looked terrible, but Dorian wasn't sure if being truthful was a smart idea when he was only a shove away from a broken bone or two at the very least. "Well. Let's just try one, shall we?"

"Go on then," she agreed, sounding warmly fond of him. They both grabbed a cookie that was vaguely round, and Dorian noted with displeasure that there were raisins in the mix. Because they were ridiculous, they toasted with the slightly burnt cookies, then took a bite at nearly the same time. It was as awful as it looked, maybe worse, and it took everything he had to chew and swallow instead of spitting it out. "Blargh! I hate cookies," Sera announced when she'd finished her own bite, limbs flailing in her typical fashion.

"Well these certainly aren't prime samples of the medium," he said with a distrustful glance at the remains in his hand. Sera was still chomping down, so he bit back a sigh, reminded himself that he rather liked the quirky woman next to him, and polished his off. Stomach already beginning to stage a rebellion, he held his hand out palm up. "Let's have another, if you please. Though I may throw it at Mother Giselle instead of finishing it, fair warning."

"Nooo! Don't waste my terrible cookies on that, you pisser. Pranks're better for the gossipy hen. She does good, yeah? Mebbe she's limited by her love of the fairy tale in the sky, but she's tryin', yeah? So pranks, no raining down death cookies."

"You are a spoiler of my fun."

"Shut it and eat your cookie."

"I'm not entirely sure this isn't an attempt on my life."

"I know, right?" Sera agreed with a giggle that had him smiling. "Keeps things interesting." Dorian rolled his eyes but ate the cookie as he lightly bumped his shoulder against hers. That quickly devolved into a (mostly) careful shoving match, until they were both laughing and the horrible, awful cookies were forgotten for a time.

He wasn't sure shy she'd brought him to the roof, or why she'd fed him terrible cookies and eaten them herself. Dorian didn't know what it all _meant_... but a few days later, he saw her with Blackwall in that same precarious perch, her head resting on the man's shoulder. That had him feeling rather touched - he knew the Warden was her favorite non-female member of the Inquisition, and she'd shared the same ritual with Dorian.

It was an initiation of a sort, he decided a few days later when he realized he was seeing Sera more often and was pulled into her pranks and tricks with astonishing regularity. It was a gateway to a deeper friendship, and Dorian began to think fondly of the experience.

Even if the cookies _had_ made him vomit spectacularly once he'd finally reached the ground.

~.~.~

Dorian had always been amused by Vivienne's choice of haunts. The way the alcove was positioned let her look over those entering the Keep like a Queen surveying her lands. Important delegations often caught sight of her leaning over the railings before they saw Josephine or the Inquisitor herself. It was a place of power and influence that she'd carved out for herself without anyone else being aware of its importance - they'd just let her have it! No one had raised a fuss, no one had pointed out that it would be better for a faceless Inquisition solider to hold the alcove to remind people where they were and who they were coming to see. Instead, the impression given was often that they were all waiting to hold court with the Enchanter.

Vivienne was a wonderfully skilled manipulator. She would do _so_ well in Tevinter if only she would let go of those pesky morals of hers.

The books she'd asked the Inquisitor to fetch were even moderately interesting which was entirely irritating - she wouldn't let him claim them for his arcane library. It was incredibly rude of her, really, even if he was certain she'd refused him only so he would read them while draped over the small sofa she'd charmed someone into lugging up into the space. For that he could almost forgive her. If it weren't for the fact that he was also permitted to drink wine from her private stores he would walk away and never look back. Alas, he was allowed, and he simply couldn't find it within himself to storm off the way she deserved.

"Another glass darling? I'm not very fond of the vintage, so I'd be delighted if you finished the bottle off."

"You have no appreciation for the finer things. I'd be happy to take the rest of the bottle off your hands - while I've had enough for now, I could use what remains to treat my Commander with after dinner. We've taken to sharing a plate of fruit in our rooms before we retire. I believe this would pair beautifully with something that sweet."

"Hmm. I suppose it would cut the aftertaste of vinegar at least a little. And while Commander Cullen is a highly skilled man I doubt he's discerning when it comes to his alcohol so of course you can have the rest of the bottle. Shall I pass on the name of the... charming man I purchased it from?"

"Thank you, but no. I simply don't have the coin to purchase such frivolous things. I'm busy remaking Cullen's wardrobe, you see, and it's proving to be an expensive endeavor," he sighed as he flipped the next page in his current volume. "He owns nothing silk at all, can you imagine? It's all rough, homespun cotton and other common fibers. It's enough to make me weep, Vivienne. And you've seen that dreadful cloak of his."

"It is very..." from the way she pursed her lips, Dorian knew she was holding back a laugh. "Distinctive, at least. Your love will never be accused of blending in. Has he been cooperating with your attempts?" As she spoke, she allowed herself to relax back into her armchair - it was almost an exact match for his comfiest, the one he'd offered to her in his room a month or so ago. It was done in a pattern he found to be garish and an absolute eyesore, but he supposed he could let that go. It really was a wonderful chair, and he was pleased as could be that she'd chosen to get one for herself. It was also nice to see her relax a little, loosen the tight control she usually exercised over her body and facial expression. Vivienne didn't take the mask off completely of course, never that, but it sometimes felt like she didn't mind letting him peek around the edges of it.

"He tries. He complains and fusses like a child, but he tries. Mostly he's ceded control to me - said something about having more important things to do, which was utter nonsense. The Inquisition practically runs itself and I simply cannot allow him to fight Corypheus dressed like a homeless vagabond. I've already commissioned the pieces he needs for more elaborate affairs, of course, and he only needs to allow himself to be fitted once they're finished. The issue is with his everyday wardrobe - I've taken to ferrying swatches back and forth through the Keep like a common messenger."

"I'd never call you common."

"Thank you, my dear, that does help soothe my ego."

"Of course, you wouldn't be my first choice of people to assist with my fashion choices either. It is proof that he loves you, I suppose." Dorian laughed as she sent him a small smile, not offended in the least. He did finally set the book aside though, admitting to himself that he wasn't the least bit interested in continuing to read it. Under her watchful eye he stretched, groaning as he did. "Have you spoken to the Iron Bull recently?"

Dorian froze, feeling rather like she'd just doused him in freezing water. "No," he told her curtly, fighting the urge to glare. "He has made his choices and so have I. There's nothing left to discuss."

"Hmmm. He's been sighted with the Inquisitor more often than not. I'd simply wondered if they might be planning something. Perhaps they are helping each other deal with the loss of the Chargers instead."

"Perhaps."

"No need to snap at me, darling. I'm simply indulging in a bit of gossip."

"I think you may be deliberately trying to annoy me, but if you'd prefer to call it 'gossip' then by all means."

"I only meant..." Dorian looked over in time to see her lips thin, and then she let out a soft sigh. "Forgive me. I didn't know how to approach the topic and misjudged. I only... I know that before securing the alliance with the Qunari, Sylaera was demanding Cullen's attention quite often. I had hoped that perhaps seeing her with Bull meant that she was done raking her nails through your relationship in favor of forming her own."

"I think Bull is the only one left in the Inner Circle who will sleep with her," Dorian told her with a shrug, uncaring that someone might walk by and overhear. "Sera certainly won't, and I think Blackwall's affection has been rather dimmed by the quarrel between our two lovely Elven ladies. I know she still sleeps with anyone else in Skyhold who catches her fancy, but Bull is the last that she has any emotional ties to. I believe that is why she's focusing on him, the horned bastard. Cullen was going to... well. She hasn't asked for him or attempted to get him to fuck her, so my _amatus_ has chosen to take it as a blessing. If she chooses to press the issue, Cullen has sworn that he won't go to her. We are..." Dorian felt heat rising to his cheeks and he hated it. He fought the blush and managed to win, giving one uninterested shrug of his shoulder before looking away. "Well. Committed, I suppose you could call it. He has agreed to return to Tevinter with me once this madness is over."

"That's wonderful to hear. I had worried... the Inquisitor is a selfish woman. I simply worried. I'm glad you have a chance to grab at happiness, darling boy." Dorian turned back to her to find the woman with a wistful expression on her face as she stared out the window. "I've never regretted doing the same with my Bastien. Love isn't everything they say it is in the songs or the stories, but... it's still fairly marvelous."

"You could visit us, you know," Dorian told her on impulse. "Once the dust settles and we've relocated... you should visit. Or allow us to visit you. Who else will I fight with about wine and the horrible atrocity that you Orlesians call fashion?"

"You do remember that when all this is done I'll be returning to the Circle, don't you? It isn't as if I'll simply be allowed to waltz into Tevinter and return unscathed. The scandal and suspicion wouldn't be worth it."

"If the Circles were restored as they were, that's true," Dorian agreed cautiously. They tended to fight for truth over such matters, after all. "But you must admit that there are improvements to be made. Why shouldn't mages be occasionally permitted to travel?"

"To _Tevinter_?"

"Maker's mercy. Fine, not Tevinter, but somewhere. Why shouldn't you be allowed to travel somewhere that Cullen and I could meet you and visit?"

"Hmm."

"Oh come now. You've been acting outside the Circle for this long, and under incredible circumstances. You mages with years of experience under your belt shouldn't need to be kept under lock and key that way."

The glint in her eye meant another lively debate on the subject was in their near future. Dorian had entered the first few unprepared and she'd absolutely trounced him. Now, however, he'd done his research. He'd spoken to Fiona, Cullen, Lysette and a handful of Circle mages. He'd read tomes, asked questions, come up with arguments. This time... this time he would make her work for any victory she earned in such a debate. Maker willing, he might even be able to make her concede that he had an incredibly valid point.

He did so love Vivienne, if she _was_ Orlesian through and through.

~.~.~

"Kattrin, my dearest, my darling, my heart. You are abandoning my dog and myself to the tender mercies of Nylan. This hurts me."

The woman in question turned, arching one brow at him. To add insult to injury, it was a brow that he'd dearly love to take a pair of tweezers to. And her hair - oh, Andraste save him, her hair. He longed to attack it first with the same concoctions he used on his own, then beat it into submission with a good brushing before he styled it lovingly. Because he did love her and she was such a beautiful girl, but if she would let him do just a bit of polishing she could shine brighter than the stars.

He'd already gotten her to promise to let him work his magic on her during the week before her wedding. Dorian supposed he ought to be happy she'd granted him that much.

"Dorian, I ain't just 'anging about Sky'old b'cause it's pretty, am I? Came to fight that Corypheus monster, not to stay behind all the time to tat lace or whatever fancy ladies do."

"Don't worry - I wouldn't let you anywhere near such things. You'd find them boring and some of us are too fond of lace to let you mangle it. No no, I understand that you joined our illustrious band with a purpose, I do. It's only... well."

"I know. I 'aven't been out on a mission in a good long while," Kattrin said, turning a smile his way that quickly turned impudent. "The Commander didn't want 'is... 'correspondence' interrupted'n you don't much like Nylan."

"Exactly! I _loathe_ Nylan," he agreed despite that not being strictly true anymore. The man was actually not awful to be around. His sense of humor was surprisingly crude, which Dorian had simply not expected. It as good for a chuckle or two before he was annoyed by it. "So why can't that continue? As Cullen's clear superior, I hereby forbid you to set so much as a toe outside of the keep."

"You've got such a silly da," Kattrin murmured as she knelt on the ground in front of Felix. "Thinking 'e can forbid me anything or order me about," the Mabari panted happily - Dorian couldn't tell if the pup agreed or not, which he found mildly hurtful. "I ain't 'ere just to pass 'is letters either," she continued, scratching and gently tugging on his ears. "Entertaining though they may be. I 'ave a feeling 'e don't think I can take care of m'self out in the big, bad world. Mebbe 'e's a bit worried, but that's silly, innit?" Kattrin's keen eyes flicked up to him and a lopsided smile found its way onto her lips. "'M 'ere for more'n this, Dorian. Didn't sign up to stay safe in the keep while other people do the fighting. Now stop whinging, give me a 'ug and lemme go do some good in the world."

"I'm not... _whinging_ ," he protested, sounding weak to his own ears. "I'm simply concerned that you're abandoning me here to a bunch of... of..." Nothing came to him, so he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't suppose I'd be allowed to come with you, would I?"

"Dorian. I'll be gone a fortnight and odd days. The route's been secure for ages now--"

"Pardon me for interrupting, but we just fought a dragon _and_ several wyverns in that general area. New Crestwood and the surrounding vista are in no way secure, and you may be a more than capable fighter, but I... fine. Fine, I shan't be allowed to nip along at your heels. Will you at least let me take your daggers to Dagna? She and I could probably set you up with a few lovely enchantments to save your beautiful head."

"Will it make you feel better?"

"Yes," he said immediately, searching her eyes. "Might make your betrothed rest a bit easier as well. What was his name again?"

She started to laugh, warm and clear and bright - it eased some of the tension in his chest and let him smile. "Oh no. I won't be falling for that one. 'E's been just fine without you popping in on 'im and being your charming self. We 'ave a dinner planned for a bit after I get back, once my da and two of my brothers get 'ere. That's when you'll be getting a name and such."

"Well, I tried. ... I could get Cullen to tell me."

"You won't," she shot back with absolute certainty, smile getting wider. "You're gonna be respecting my wishes, 'cause even if you've got everyone believing you're some scary Tevinter blood mage, you're a good man."

"I have _never_ had anyone lay such heinous and unbelievable lies at my feet. I am terrifying to behold. My majesty and power hang about my person like a cloak, and all one must do is look into my eyes to see that I am--"

"A big... soft... fluffy... bunny." Kattrin accused, glee dancing in her eyes. Dorian gasped theatrically, slapping his right hand over his heart. He even staggered a little, drawing a giggle out of her as she released his dog. Felix, interpreting the whole thing as a game, turned and lifted himself up onto his hind legs, falling forward until his front paws slammed down on his thigh. Holding back a groan, he allowed the dog to paw at his trousers while whining playfully for the moment.

"I have never been so insulted in all my life and I have had many and varied encounters with demons. You... you!" Dorian threw his hands up in the most dramatic way he could manage, then swooped down and grabbed his dog. Felix was a little heavier, a little bigger than he had been before Dorian's last 'adventure', but he still fit nicely into Dorian's arms. "My dog and I shall be leaving in favor of better company," he informed her, making sure his nose was practically pointing to the sky. She was giggling helplessly now, and it almost let him forget that she'd be marching off to her potential doom the next day. "While I pray for your safety and well-being, I refuse to stay and suffer more abuse at your pretty little hands. I ignore you!"

Dorian turned on his heel and strode out of Kattrin's room, leaving her crying on the floor from laughter. He'd see her off at the gate in the morning along with Cullen and probably, Maker save him, Nylan as well. It was good to leave her in a good mood now, and he'd do his best to try and send her off with a smile the next day. Despite his protests and his worry, he was aware that she did need to, on occasion, leave Skyhold. His _amatus_ wasn't often able to take a jaunt out to survey the troops stationed elsewhere; he needed to send trusted eyes to assess the situation. Kattrin was a bright girl who - he'd been assured multiple time - was a bloody genius when it came to knife skills. Cullen was right to send her, the way he'd been right to send Nylan on a similar errand a few months ago.

Never before had it been so hard to be the one staying behind. When Sylaera took other companions with her, he usually only felt mild relief or perhaps a twinge of irritation that he hadn't been invited and a bit of concern for those that had been. They weren't strong emotions, and he'd never really had a problem leaving either. Oh, how the mighty had fallen.

Three hallways away, he cursed out loud when he realized that he'd been so busy being dramatic that he'd forgotten to secure Kattrin's permission to enchant her weapons. Perhaps he ought to go on a little walk down to the Undercroft - Harrit might something suitable he could buy that he and Dagna could then work on. If not, Dagna herself would surely present a solution of her own.

Dorian finally had people that he loved - or at least was fond of - in his life. He was going to do his absolute best to make sure they made it through this disaster safely. If that meant he had to visit surly blacksmiths, deal with inane chatter or visit heights in the cold that no one had any business enjoying... well. He'd do it all and more.

That's what one did for family.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was commissioned by a lovely person who I headcannon as being a member of the MIB. <3
> 
> There'll be another within the week, and then I really am going to try and keep updates regular, I promise. ;.;
> 
> Thanks for sticking it out, and maybe comment if you feel like it even if I've been terrible about answering them lately. <3

In the normal course of things, Dorian was against murder. One might not believe it, given the Inquisition's record of destroying anyone who went against them, but he didn't really consider that murder at all. It was a service to his fellow man, woman, elf, dwarf and Qunari whenever they rid the world of another batch of Red Templars or Venatori Mages. It was cleaning house, so to speak. When he helped kill a Venatori it had the added bonus getting rid of one more heretical, fanatical voice that wouldn’t be against him when he went back to Tevinter.

If he went back to Tevinter.

A rather pesky annoyance had reared its head, reminding him of why his triumphant return may not be as triumphant as he would like, and had him rethinking his stance on the whole ' no killing people who aren't actively trying to kill us' rule. Not that he would, of course, but it was nice to cling to the dream. He had assumed getting his amulet back would be a small, simple matter. Ponchard de Lieux was, after all, a merchant. The Inquisition finally had enough influence and resources to provide a stipend to those officially under its banner, and Dorian had managed to pawn off a few of the books his mother had sent that had been valuable but irrelevant to the collection he was trying to build.

All in all, he'd built up an impressive little nest egg, one that was significantly larger than the sum Ponchard had paid for it in the first place. It _should_ have been enough, but the rat had refused, and Dorian's stance on murder was, sadly, more immutable than he would have liked. He had been so, so sure that Ponchard would sell it back - he hadn't thought the merchant understood its true value.

He'd always been a Blighted fool, always assuming that he was the only one with all the pieces to the puzzle. Ponchard knew exactly what had fallen into his hands. Dorian could return to his homeland without it, naturally. He was still a citizen, still a Pavus... but without his birthright, certain doors would not only shut, they would slam in his face.

At least he hadn't spoken to Cullen about the matter, he mused as he sorted through the last box of books his mother had sent to him. It would be unbearable if his _amatus_ knew of it, if he realized what Dorian had been willing to throw away in his haste to escape his father and the man's wretched plans. Cullen still carried about a _coin_ that his brother had given him, one with almost no value at all, because it meant something to him.

Dorian loved Cullen, wanted to trust him with everything., _did_ trust him with most of it. But he was afraid that once Cullen realized how easily he'd let things go before, his Commander might worry that Dorian would repeat the behavior. It would kill him if Cullen began to doubt his place in Dorian's life again. When Cullen looked at the beautiful ring he'd given to Dorian, Dorian didn't want him wondering if it would just be another pricey trinket, the ticket to yet another new life.

That kind of doubt could poison everything, and they had only just really begun.

So yes, it was a good thing that he'd kept this from his _amatus_. He had gotten himself into this mess, and he could very well get himself back out of it. Ponchard wanted something from the Inquisitor, but Dorian would rather throw himself into the Waking Sea than trust Sylaera enough to ask her for a favor. Beyond that, if anyone found out that he'd been asking for them, he would turn into even more of a bogeyman than he already was.

No. He could fix this. All he needed was some time to think of a plan. One that - so very, very unfortunately - would not include throwing a single fireball at the ass holding his amulet hostage.

~.~.~

"Dorian?"

When Cullen's voice hit his ears, Dorian reluctantly pulled himself away from his research. Dagna had stumbled upon a _fascinating_ theory that could change... well. It could change everything. Everything they knew about lyrium, about mages and templars, about Wardens and the blight. Her theory could change everything they knew about magic itself. He wasn't sure if he wanted to prove her right or not, because the ramifications were absolutely staggering...

"-called away to... Dorian? Are you listening?"

"What? Oh! Sorry, sorry," he said, shaking his head and shoving away from his desk so he wouldn't be tempted to look back at the books and papers on it. Cullen, the scamp that he was, promptly invaded his space to straddle his lap. Thank goodness the man had already taken off his armor or it would have been a significantly less pleasant experience. As it was, Dorian 'oof'ed mostly for show before settling his hands on Cullen's hips. "You have my full attention, _amatus_."

"Good, because I have... news. I'd rather not have to say it more than once."

"Well that's not at all ominous."

"Josephine, Leliana and Sylaera want me to travel to Val Royeaux to meet with some of the chevaliers that remain in the city as well as some of the palace guards."

"What? No. Why?" Dorian found himself absolutely aghast at the notion of Skyhold without its Commander. Why, the place would fall apart! "You can't leave. I forbid it," he said, squeezing Cullen's hips to emphasize his words. Not that Cullen took him seriously. His _amatus_ only gave him a soft, fond smile as he slid his hands from Dorian's shoulders to cup his face instead.

"Who is the Commander here, Dorian? You can forbid me nothing."

"Perhaps not, but I can deny you a great many things, _Commander_. If I were you, I would certainly weigh that fact against your desire to leave."

"Desire? Dorian, I have no wish to go."

"Well then don't. I'm the one who's supposed to go rambling through the frozen countryside and you're supposed to be here to welcome me home. If we turn that system on its head, the consequences will no doubt be dire."

Cullen smiled again before dipping his head to catch Dorian's mouth in a sweet, tender kiss. It wasn't playing fair, not in the slightest, but he couldn't really blame the man. Dorian _was_ a very kissable sort and there was no shame in Cullen wanting to indulge himself while trying to appease Dorian. The unfortunate part was the way it was working.

"I have to go," Cullen said quietly against his lips when their kiss ended. "With so many of the Orlesian standing forces busy waging war in Exalted Plains, Empress Celene and Duke Gaspard have agreed that their grand ball may not have enough protection. The Inquisition is seen as a neutral party, and thus we are being considered as a way to provide some level of security for the event. Think on it, Dorian - the level of legitimacy such a thing could give the Inquisition is--"

"You talk too much to Josephine," Dorian interrupted, hating how sensible Cullen was sounding. "As if you care one lump if Orlais finds us 'legitimate'. You just want a host of Inquisition soldiers at the Winter Palace so you can pretend they need you watching over them like a mother hen. That way you won't have to dance."

"I wouldn't dance anyway," Cullen said immediately, looking faintly alarmed. It was such a delicious expression that Dorian simply couldn't keep himself from giving the man a quick kiss. "It isn't like the nobles there could force me to dance," he continued before Dorian rolled his eyes and captured his mouth again. That only lasted a moment, however, before Cullen was pushing him back. "Dorian, desist. I must know - they can't, can they? I do not... I have no wish to... Maker save me, what if Leliana and Josephine make me dance with them?"

It was terrible of him, but Dorian started to laugh at the look of dawning horror on Cullen's face. His _amatus_ promptly punched him on the shoulder and stood up. It was amusing, the way Felix scrambled out of his bed in the corner to follow Cullen as he paced, but Dorian missed the man's weight and his warmth. "Cullen, _do_ calm down."

"Calm down? How can I calm down? Orlesians can smell discomfort and fear, Dorian. You've seen the way they... no. They'll all know that I don't want to dance, and that will only make them want to be the one that changes my mind. If Josephine or Leliana decide that my taking a turn on the dance floor with this noble or that will benefit the Inquisition, they'll make me. Maker save me, but they're terrifying."

"Cullen, if the nobles at the Winter Palace are attracted to you like bees to honey, it will have almost nothing to do with your reluctance. You are the dashing, handsome Commander of the Inquisition - they'll want you exclusively for your body and title."

"Thank you, Dorian. That's very reassuring."

Biting back a chuckle - the dark look on Cullen's face meant his amusement was not shared - Dorian stood up as well. Carefully shooing Felix out of the way with one foot, he came up behind Cullen and wrapped his arms around the man's waist. "Easy, _amatus_ ," he murmured against Cullen's temple. "You are romantically involved with an _Altus_ from the dread Imperium. If anyone tries to drag you onto the dance floor, I will be more than happy to fling a fireball or two their way. I shall lurk in your shadow like an avenging spirit the whole night, Cullen, I promise you. I will ensure that they all know that you are _mine_ and that I have no intention of sharing you with _anyone_."

Cullen melted back against him, the stress he had been creating for himself draining away a little. Dorian hid his smile in Cullen's neck, proud of the way he still wasn't laughing. "Truly? You'll do that for me? Because I really don't wish to dance in front of all those people and make myself look like a fool."

"Truly. Although perhaps you wouldn't be quite so averse to taking a turn on that same dance floor with me?" Cullen went tense again, so Dorian let go of the dream he'd held dear and cherished for all of a few moments with only a soft sigh against Cullen's neck. "No no, never mind. I would only be jealous of all the other eyes on you. All the attention at an event like that should be focused exclusively on me."

At that, Cullen managed a weak laugh - it wasn't much, but Dorian would certainly take it. "And I'm sure you will garner quite a bit of it if Sylaera brings you along. I know, I know," he said when Dorian scoffed. "It's not as if she'll bring Solas, and she would be a fool to bring Vivienne."

"I half hope that she does anyway. It would be a thing of beauty, the way my dear Enchanter would oh-so politely shred her to ribbons in front of the nobles. The Inquisitor wouldn't even realize what was going on. She would have no idea that many of the other guests would walk away supporting the Inquisition _despite_ Sylaera leading it, not _because_ she leads it. Unfortunately, Sylaera thinks she and I are friends, and she'll need as many as she can get in that lion's den. I have no doubt that I shall be dragged along at her heels along with the Iron Bull. The true mystery is who our third companion will be - I can hardly wait to find out."

"I imagine she'll try and sweet-talk Varric into assisting her again. Sera would be a disaster there even if she were currently speaking with the Inquisitor."

"Mmm.... you're probably right. ... I've also just realized that you managed to completely distract me from the matter at hand. I refuse to let you go to Val Royeaux without myself and Felix there to keep you company." Taking his cue, the Mabari reared up onto his hind legs and pawed at Cullen's trousers, whining piteously. "I've only been home a week, _amatus_. Surely you wouldn't separate us again so soon," Dorian said, nosing at the underside of Cullen's jaw before placing a soft kiss there. "If you truly must go, will you not allow us to travel with you?"

"... it's not going to be a long trip," Cullen protested, which only made him grin. His Commander was weakening under the power of their puppy's eyes, he was certain of it. "And we'll be traveling along the main roads with a decent retinue - you'll be bored out of your wits, Dorian."

"I have too many wits to lose them all on one trip, _amatus_. It will be good for Felix to get out of Skyhold for a time, smell some new smells, piss all over new vistas," he added in a wheedling tone. Cullen started to laugh, which he took as a good sign. "And I personally would _love_ for you to ravish me in new and exotic locales."

"You are completely ridiculous," Cullen said fondly, turning his head to brush his lips over Dorian's. "And using Felix to get your way is sneaky and unfair."

"Seeing as you tried to use kisses and a distracting conversation, I think I we're even."

Cullen snorted and pulled away, stooping over to grab Felix. The puppy, who was getting bigger every day, squirmed in his arms delightedly, giving a few happy barks. "I suppose. But Dorian..." Cullen sighed and turned to face him, looking tired. "This isn't a pleasure trip. We'll only be in the city for a day, maybe two at the most, and I won't have much time for you _or_ Felix. Sylaera probably won't leave while I'm gone - at least Josephine and Leliana will work hard to dissuade her - and you have much to do with Dagna from what I understand. Kattrin should be returning while I'm away, and you _did_ only just get back. I think it would be for the best if you stay here, Dorian. I promise you, once this is all done we can travel as much as you want, but for now--"

"Say no more," he said, stepping up to Cullen in order to scratch Felix's ears. The way that put him in easy reach of Cullen's mouth to deliver a soft kiss was simply a coincidence. "I don't like it, but I suppose I understand." That was a bit of a lie, but since it was done to put his _amatus_ at ease he thought Andraste and the Maker would forgive him for it. He didn't understand at all, hated that Cullen seemed so eager to leave him behind... but he could pretend. He could keep himself from being insufferable about it, because he could see the way some of the burden seemed to have lifted from Cullen's shoulders. Cullen's peace of mind was more important than getting his way.

Dorian thought he really ought to get more credit for the way he'd grown and matured since joining the Inquisition.

"Thank you. I'll be leaving in two days, and I should return less than a week after that."

"If it takes longer--"

"You have my permission to track me down and drag me home."

"That shall have to be good enough, I suppose. Now give me my dog - it's almost time for our daily turn around the gardens. Mother Giselle will be there any moment, and I just love the way she wrinkles her nose whenever Felix pisses on the statues."

~.~.~

_Dearest Mia,_

_First I must apologize for not writing sooner - that is the fault of your wonderful but boorish brother. He simply doesn't understand the importance of correspondence, you see. Do you know that I actually had to TEACH the oaf how to write a proper letter? The first note he penned to me was perhaps five sentences long with no salutation or closing or any sort of polite convention. Honestly. I adore the man, but sometimes it seems as if he was raised by wolves instead of your wonderful family and then the Templars._

_The point is, of course, that he didn't understand why I began pestering him about wanting to write to you after I found one of your letters on his disaster of a desk. Cullen is the neatest man I've ever met when it comes to most things, but for some reason his desk looks rather like I imagine Ferelden did after that nasty Blight business. Was that insensitive? Do forgive me, I'm still working on shedding some of my Tevinter manners. The point is that I found a letter you'd sent, in which you despaired of the way he cannot seem to write you back in a timely and regular manner. I offered to take up the task in his stead, he objected, and I fear I had to resort to being an absolute pest about the situation._

_He has finally capitulated, and so I am free to write you. I promise to keep you updated on as many of his doings as I can manage. Cullen is lucky enough to have siblings where I have none - I hope this way I can endear myself to you enough that one day you might consider me family as well. Besides, I need someone with whom I can bemoan my darling Commander's stupidity._

_Like just yesterday when he absolutely refused to take a break from his work long enough to eat lunch. The man is built like a stone wall - he needs sustenance so he doesn't fall over at his desk and upset his ink pot. The Inquisition received news from the Emerald Graves that seems to have caused both Cullen and Leliana a great deal of concern. He's been running himself ragged, especially since he is to depart on the morrow to Val Royeaux. He thinks he must put things in perfect order before he leaves Skyhold. I try to tell him that nothing has been in any kind of order since that hole appeared in the sky, but he isn't convinced._

_In any event, he refused his noon meal yesterday when I sent it to him with Nylan. Has Cullen told you about Nylan? The man is worth a separate letter of his own, so I won't dwell on him here. All you truly need to know is that he is both one of the most irritating men I've ever met and incredibly devoted to your brother. Nylan came to report to me half an hour after Cullen was supposed to eat saying that your fool of a brother refused. I had to quit my own research and drag Felix through the whole of our drafty hold to persuade the man himself. Except then he refused me too! Is your husband ever that obstinate and hardheaded? If so, what tools do you have at your disposal that you can share with me? I have only the threat of making him sleep on the floor and Felix's puppy eyes._

_Which is what finally got him to eat, by the way. Felix looked at him and whined the most piteous whine I'd ever heard. Cullen folded immediately, the wonderful dolt. I do believe he loves our dog more than he loves me, which hurts me immensely. Is that a problem you have with your husband? I confess, I know even less about Ferelden men than I do about Mabari. I beg for your assistance, Mia. Help me unravel the mystery that is the male species of your homeland._

_I must end my letter here, as Cullen will arrive back in our rooms soon. If he realizes I've been writing you, he'll want to read the letter and then all manner of tantrums will ensue I'm sure. It's better if he knows we're writing but never sees the evidence._

_Stay safe in these uncertain time, my dear almost sister. I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship, and along with my next letter I shall send some presents for your children._

_Entirely at your service,_

_Dorian Pavus_

~.~.~

Skyhold without Cullen felt wrong in a way that Dorian couldn't fully articulate. Maybe it was only him, but event the rubble seemed particularly shabby the afternoon of his departure. Cullen was supposed to be there - he was a constant. He had _always_ been there, ever since Dorian's first visit to Haven. Perhaps it was only for a few days, but with the Commander absent it was hard not to imagine all the things that could go wrong. It was hard not to wonder if maybe he wouldn't be coming back at all. Maudlin thoughts were for people with far less sense than Dorian possessed, but he simply could not keep his mind from wandering periodically in that direction.

Their Barkon was, of course, nearly inconsolable. He had whined and howled and carried on in the most dreadful way once he saw that Cullen was packing the same bag as Dorian had before taking his leave. Curse the intelligence of Mabari hounds. Dorian knew that bag would, now and forever, be the 'bad leaving bag' in the dog's mind. He would never be able to use it for anything but leaving Skyhold, and it was one of his favorites.

Even now Felix was moping instead of frolicking through the garden. He had only peed on one statue and hadn't even waved his stump when he saw Mother Giselle's look of disgust. As soon as Dorian had taken a seat on a bench, the hound had flopped down on his feet in a picture of misery. Honestly, it was almost enough to drive a man mad - it was certainly enough to keep him from concentrating fully on the journal he was trying to read.

He prevailed, however, because the journal was one his mother had sent that was related almost entirely to lyrium. There might be something in it that he could in turn relate to the work he and Dagna were doing. At the very least, an experiment or two might make itself known from the ether of his thoughts if he just kept reading. They had their theory but no idea on how to prove it or how they might move forward. If Dagna was right, if lyrium was _alive_ , it could mean everything. It also made knowing how to approach lyrium addiction far more difficult.

Because if lyrium was alive, it might not be an addiction at all. It could be an infection, an infestation almost, of a 'substance' that might have enough sentience to demand things from its host. As much as the discovery thrilled him, it scared him as well. He didn't know what they would do if the theory was proven true.

But he was putting the cart before the horse. First they needed to do the proving.

At his feet, Felix suddenly sat upright and gave a huffing bark that warned Dorian someone was approaching. When the Barkon then _growled_ , Dorian actually looked up from his book. He was surprised and a little worried because Felix rarely, if ever, growled at anyone. Well, he still did it to Solas, but only for a few moments before he would lose his nerve and hide under a chair instead.

Dorian would have been absolutely thrilled to see the bald elven mage striding toward him instead of the elf that it was. Sylaera was in full armor again, hand never leaving her sword hilt. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her wearing the leisure clothes that Josephine had provided. If he didn't hate the woman so much he would be concerned for the Inquisitor. As it was, he managed only a faint strain of pity.

"Dorian!" she said, sounding happy to see him. The woman thought they were friends still, and he found himself too afraid of her reaction to shatter the illusion. "I was looking for you."

"You were? Whatever for my dear woman?"

"I just wanted to talk with you. We've hardly spent any time together since we returned. I missed you. I'll admit too that I hoped you would have your Mabari with you, since Cullen is gone. Hello there, little one. You've grown," she said directly to the dog. For his part Felix looked up at Dorian, seeming unsure, before wagging his stump at her just a little.

"He has, which makes those nights when he lays on top of my bladder far more interesting." Sylaera laughed at that, and Dorian hated how lovely the sound was. "I've been meaning to thank you, by the way. Cullen tells me that you are responsible for the myriad of Mabari trainers that descended on Skyhold in our absence. Knowing that my darling Barkon will have the skills to defend himself once he's old enough to go traipsing across Thedas with me is comforting."

The smile she sent him was brilliant, full of innocent joy - it made him remember the young woman that he had met in Haven. The one who hadn't yet seemed bitter and hardened. The one that he had liked, the one that had been buried beneath the creature he loathed. "Josie was furious at me when she saw the expense, but it was worth it. The Inquisition should have hounds, and Mabari are the best. Your lad was so brave that first time I met him, I just knew he was something special. I'm pleased to help him grow into a bit, strong fighter. Fen'Harel will never invade your dreams while you have him. You're very lucky, Dorian."

"I suppose I am. I love the brute, even if he _is_ a dog and very much smells like one. Yes, you," he said to Felix when the pup whimpered and wriggled. "You stink." Sylaera laughed again, then eased onto the bench next to him.

"Have you heard from your parents lately?"

Dorian felt himself go stiff as a board without meaning to, barely holding back a growl of his own. "Not since my mother headed my plea and sent me a fair number of books for my arcane library. I sent her a thank you letter, and that was that."

"Ah. I only ask because I got a letter from my Keeper today. It was... strange, to think of my clan. I don't, most days. Not when I know I can't go back to them yet."

"Do you wish to, after this is all over?"

"Of course. Do you think I want to stay _here_ , with all these _shems_ and flat-ears? No. You're well enough, even if you did steal Cullen from under my nose, and Sera was fun before that arrow got lodged up her arse, but... no. I was only supposed to be away from them for the Conclave. I should have been back with them months ago. Instead..." Sylaera stopped and pressed her lips together into a thin line, looking off into the distance. "I try not to think about them when I know I'm trapped here until we manage to defeat Corypheus."

"I'm sorry. I know everyone isn't as eager to leave their families as I was to get away from mine."

"You had reason. What your father--"

"I truly would prefer not to discuss it," Dorian interrupted, fingers tightening on the spine of his book. Felix picked up on his agitation and huffed out another quiet bark before sitting up on his haunches and nosing at Dorian's knee. He used his other hand to start scratching the dog's ears and head. It didn't relax him completely, but it did help him to let go of some of his tension. Dorian hadn't realized that Sylaera remembered that. She certainly hadn't seemed all that interested in the argument he and his father had had about it in Redcliff's tavern. "Too many ears and not enough alcohol about, you see."

"Right. Sorry. Have things settled at all between the two of you?"

There was something glittering in her eyes, something that Dorian didn't trust. Her face was still all soft innocence, still so close to the Sylaera he had met in the beginning, the one he had traveled to the future with... but her eyes told a different story. They were the hungry, predatory eyes that he sometimes had seen in Tevinter. It was a look that had him right back on the edge, even with Felix panting happily against his hand.

"He still won't admit that he was wrong," Dorian finally said, choosing his words carefully. "We cannot come to any kind of understanding until he does. No matter why he did it - and he can say it was out of love and concern all he likes - it was still wrong."

"Of course it was, and he should be able to see that. I'm surprised he's being so stubborn about it. He has to know it's the only way to get his son back."

"Yes well... must we linger on such a depressing subject? You'll note I haven't been badgering you about your letter from the Keeper," he said, injecting a teasing tone into his voice. With anyone else he would have jokingly nudged their shoulder. The remembered throbbing in his nose kept him from so much as accidentally brushing against Sylaera.

"Sorry - I was just curious."

If she was only curious he would eat his small clothes, but Dorian kept his doubt to himself. He just smiled at her and lifted a shoulder before affecting a haughty expression. "It's only natural, really. I am a beautiful mystery of a man, after all. Wanting to know everything about my life and family is to be expected. All and sundry are constantly prying into my affairs. It is a difficult burden to carry, but I shoulder it well. Almost effortlessly, really. It is the price I pay for being so wonderful and dazzling."

Sylaera was laughing again, but that hard glitter was still in her eyes. There had been a purpose to her little visit even if he couldn't see it. Even if she slid easily into a discussion on literature - the one thing she liked about living among _shems_ was the books - she had not really found him just to chat. No matter how flip and relaxed her mention of Cullen and how Dorian had stolen him seemed, it really only told Dorian that she had neither forgotten nor truly forgiven him for it.

Sylaera was up to something. Dorian hoped that his _amatus_ returned before she sprung whatever trap she was devising.

~.~.~

_My handsome, strapping, naughty Commander,_

_I am completely unashamed to admit that I ache for you, Cullen. It was easier to bear when I was the one who was away. When you're busy trying to keep wyverns and dragons from disemboweling you, making love is rather far from the mind. Here in Skyhold, late at night and alone in our bed, it is harder to push the need to have you take me from my mind. My own fingers, talented though they may be, are no longer enough to satisfy my hunger. I despise you for leaving me this way, hard and empty with no way to reach the the beautiful, breathtaking completion that you bring me to. Once you make your way home, I shall demand your complete and total attention for at least two days. I want to make love until we're both shivering, weeping messes._

_There. That was far closer to 'crude' than your letter to me came. If you would like, in my next letter I can come closer still. I don't care a bit if Leliana IS reading these. Gives me a bit of a thrill, if I'm being honest - it's almost like having sex where someone could catch us at it. Very exciting, even if I would scratch out the eyes of anyone else who saw you in your naked glory._

_I miss you terribly and you haven't even been gone a full day yet. I hate being separated like this, and from now on you are simply not allowed to be the one who leaves. I'm going mad here by myself, and Felix is very frustrated with my pining. Not that he can possibly judge me for it, because he whines and whines at night unless I let him sleep curled up on your pillow where he can smell you. Terribly selfish of him to keep it for himself like that. Though it does mean I can wear your shirts at night and pretend it's only for the smell, not because I can almost feel you holding me when I slip them on._

_Though I hate you for going, I hope your trip is fruitful. You were right to go, and I hate that too. Logic and sense have no place in a romance as grand and passionate as ours. What is the world coming to, I wonder, when two lovers have to contend with the end of the world right alongside parental disapproval? It isn't fair, and I shall be telling the Maker that once I join him. Which won't happen for years yet, decades even since I am young and healthy. Still, it's a grudge I shall hold onto forever. It shall be as fresh in my mind on the day I die as it is now._

_Sera tried to convince me to rig your office with all manner of pranks. I resisted, of course, and tried to divert her attention to Josephine. I'm not sure it worked completely, so do be careful on your return. Cassandra misses you almost as much as Felix and I do. This morning she woke me up before the rest of Skyhold had stirred and dragged me out for a WALK and then forced me to SPAR with her. She wouldn't even let me use magic! She gave me one of your pointy sticks and then, without even showing me how to use it properly, proceeded to whack at me. It was horribly embarrassing and strenuous. I broke a sweat, amatus. I was outside in the cold wind and I broke a sweat. She is insane and I have no idea why you befriended her. I cannot wait for your return so that you can be the one to face off against the Seeker so early in the morning._

_I cannot wait for you to come home for many reasons._

_Stay safe, amatus, and may the Maker and his Holy Bride keep watch over you._

_Dorian_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can visit me on my [tumblr](http://tahlreth.tumblr.com), where you can see all the weird, random shit I reblog without tagging anything. :'D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally earning that 'E' rating, which means I shall soon be fleeing off into the night to hide and blush. Also means that that part is under-edited because I need to post it pretty much as soon as I write it or I get all anxious about it. :'D The smut happens towards the end of this chapter, if you'd rather skip it. <3
> 
> Many thanks to my wonderful commissioner, because these chapters were a lot of fun to write and got me back on track with this story. :D
> 
> Also thanks to all of you for reading! <3

**Dorian,**

**You, my love, are a cruel and wicked man. I received your letter mere moments before I was to meet with a few very important people - or so Josephine has assured me they are. You, however, will always be more important and so I began to read your letter at once. Do you have any idea what your words do to me, what they've always done to me? All I could think of was you spread out on our bed for the taking. Our silk sheets may be too expensive and unnecessary, but I do love the way you look on them. I know you enjoy the way they feel on your naked skin while I take you apart, so I've learned to live with them. After the start of your letter, Dorian, it was all I could see, the only thing on my mind. I spent the better part of my meeting hard and distracted - I agreed to several things I never would have if you hadn't been so forward.**

**I know you probably didn't realize it would happen, but I also know you well enough to know you will be deeply pleased to hear about it. I do think that merits some sort of punishment, don't you? Against my better judgement I went shopping for new sheets, even more ridiculous and expensive than the ones we already own. To go with it I also found bindings made of silk - I wouldn't wish to hurt you, after all. I think a few hours tied up and at my mercy should suffice. Maybe it will be enough to make you reconsider your wicked ways.**

**Though to be honest I don't know if I can go through with it. After everything that happened at the Circle Tower those sort of games have lost much of their appeal. With you I might, perhaps, learn to enjoy them. We can try if you wish, if you can be patient with me.**

**Val Royeaux is as awful and pretentious as I expected it to be. This is only the city - I dread to think what we'll see at the Winter Palace. I hope you will stand by your vow to protect me from all these masked Orlesians. Already I have heard several comments that were entirely uncalled for. Do these people not understand I am the Commander of the Inquisition? I came to this city on important business, not to start up a dalliance. I will never understand the way Orlesians can be so flip and unconcerned when there are serious things happening in the world around them. Andraste's ass, there was a civil war going on even before the sky was ripped open, but you'd never know it from talking to the nobles.**

**I wish you were here, strangely enough. I was right in saying I would not have much time to spare for you or our wonderful Barkon, but at least you would both be at my side. The nights are colder here and on the road than they were even in my drafty tower, and I know it's because you aren't here to warm me. If I am ever called away on Inquisition business again, I will be happy to have you accompany me.**

**We leave for Skyhold in the morning despite receiving invitations to no less than five different parties tomorrow evening. I would rather sleep in the mud than suffer through even more more meal with these people. I know they are our allies, but they grate on my nerves. I'm sure my Fereldan sensibilities do the same to theirs.**

**I'll be home soon, and then Felix won't require my pillow, and I'll be there to hold you so you won't have to wear my shirts. Of course, if you would still like to I'm not opposed. I think I would quite like the sight.**

**Maker's mercy, I have never in all my life written such a long and vulgar letter. I blame you even as I love you.**

**Cullen**

~.~.~

Waiting for someone at the gate was just as strange as being waited for. It was good to have a bit of practice before Cullen came home. He'd hate to get it wrong for his _amatus_. Kattrin was due to arrive back at Skyhold any moment, and Dorian had _finally_ really met her betrothed. She had refused to give Dorian his name, and he had only seen him the once; it was dreadfully unfair of her. When the man found out he was on duty that day and wouldn't be able to greet her, he had sought Dorian out himself. He did seem to be a nice fellow despite the fact that he was Antivan. Dorian was trying not to hold it against him.

Estefan didn't want his lady-love coming home with no one to take care of her right away. Dorian approved, as Kattrin was a queen, a jewel without compare, and deserved to be treated as such. He knew that whenever he returned from a journey he was tired, hungry and dirty. He had never known how nice it could be to have someone help him address that issue until Cullen. Since he adored the young woman and still fully intended to spirit her away to Tevinter, he was willing to take care of her in Estefan's absence.

Felix was prancing at his feet, excited by the energy of those few people waiting alongside him. Dorian had explained that it wasn't Cullen coming home, and he did hope their Barkon had understood. He was the smartest Mabari in this history of Thedas, so Dorian assumed that he had.

When the group of Inquisition soldiers came through the gate, Felix made a beeline straight to Kattrin. He was barking like mad, stump of a tail wagging his whole body, and he jumped up at her several times just to make sure she knew how thrilled he was to see her. Dorian couldn't help but notice that many of the weary travelers began to smile, some of the exhaustion melting from their faces. Cullen and the other Fereldans were, just perhaps, onto something when it came to the Mabari. A few men and women even stopped to kneel down, allowing the pup to sniff their hands and even lick their faces. As soon as he had their scent, Felix greeted them almost as enthusiastically as he had Kattrin. While he didn't know any of the other returning soldiers, Dorian was still pleased that his dog had brought them a little happiness.

It also freed him up to head for Kattrin himself, though he kept one eye on Felix as he did. She was grinning broadly as she stepped into his waiting arms, giving him a tight hug. "Messing up your fancy robes, ain't I?" she teased before pressing a kiss to his cheek. "'ope you can forgive me."

"I purposefully wore something shabby just for you, my dear. I knew you would be covered in filth when you came waltzing back in here. I have been absolutely despondent without out you, especially since Cullen has abandoned me to the cold as well. Only Felix has remained true, and even licks my tears away every night as I weep into my pillow at the unfairness of it all." Despite the dramatics and the dirt on her face, Dorian pressed a kiss to her cheek. "How are you? Did you have many and varied adventures while I remained here pining?"

"You're 'opeless, you are," she said as she stepped back. "Can't even say 'ello to a person without turning it into a play, can you? Didn't abandon you or nothing like that, and the Commander didn't neither. We're just trying to keep the world safe so you can keep buying up all the fancy shite you like so much. Is my man up on the walls?"

"I'll have you know that all my 'fancy shite'," he drawled slowly, making her laugh as she rolled her eyes. "Is what makes life enjoyable. I don't want to just survive with the most base of materials surrounding me. I want to _live_ , Kattrin. And yes, Estefan - delightful young man, I approve which means you may marry him - is on the wall. Or maybe guarding the prisoners? Perhaps patrolling the halls to keep the Inquisitor's bottle collection safe? He's doing something official and asked me to greet you in his stead. Forgive me if I refrain from any truly passionate embraces."

"Don't think I could forgive you if you did, actually."

"I am wounded to my very core. Since I am a generous soul, I will still lead you to a waiting bath and meal. I hope that you will be properly grateful. Felix!"

The pup gave a few last parks and doggy kisses, then galloped over to Dorian and Kattrin. He immediately began to wiggle and whine, and despite the way he was growing she still bent and picked him up. "Oh, you're such a good boy, ain't you? I missed you too, Felix. More than I missed your da, to be 'onest. I only put up with 'im so I can take you for walks every day. Yes I do, yes I do." Dorian hoped Felix was responding more to the tone of her voice and not her words, because he kept whining happily and licking her face.

"I'm going to send for Solas so he can lay a cold spell over your bath water."

"Such a cranky, underappreciated man your da is. Don't know how your or the Commander puts up with 'im. Oughta steal you for myself, I should."

Dorian heaved a sigh to end all sighs as he draped an arm over Kattrin's shoulders and started to steer her towards her room. It was a small, sad place in his opinion, but she had brightened it with a few trinkets. It was just big enough that he had been able to have a tub brought in and filled, which she clearly did not appreciate enough. While she was having a soak to ease her muscles he could go off and get a nice, filling meal from the cook, who had finally (thankfully) stopped being unnecessarily grumpy with him.

Honestly, sling a few fireballs about and suddenly everyone was a critic.

Kattrin kept smiling at him despite the way she continued to be cruel with her words. Dorian was satisfied that he had done a wonderful job at welcoming her home. She even kissed his cheek when he dropped her at her door. For that, he could even forgive her for stealing Felix for the afternoon. The pup had missed her as much as she had missed him, and it would do him good to lay on the floor beside her tub.

With the practice run over, Dorian could turn part of his attention toward how he wanted to welcome home his _amatus_.

~.~.~

"Dorian. Dorian. Dorian."

"Yes, light of my life?" Dagna giggled as she nudged his hip, then shook her head.

"Does Cullen know that you're a gigantic flirt?

"I think it helps that the only man I flirt with anymore is him. Despite how I adore you, I have no wish to bed you. Makes a rather large difference, don't you think?"

"Intent! Intent makes all the difference. Did you know--"

"I hate to interrupt, but I don't want you to forget what you wanted to tell me," Dorian said, hiding a smile. Dagna held a place in his heart right next to Kattrin's. When he was being honest with himself he knew he was blessed by the women currently in his life. "It was probably important, after all."

"Oh! Right. Dorian."

"Yes sweet?"

"Varric got me in touch with a Healer Mage, or well, he _used_ to be more of a healer, but now he's... something else," and from the way she looked just a little bit shifty, Dorian had a feeling that he knew exactly who Varric's contact was. He would never ask for verification, however, because he need to be able to plead his innocence if something went wrong. "When his healing magic started, uh, being diverted into other channels, he had to start looking into other methods of healing people. Without magic, I mean. Because of... that's not important. What's important is that he's studied things like diseases and such, and he's even gotten his hands on a few Tevinter texts that are just... gosh. I know people have a lot of bad things to say about your homeland, Dorian, but the knowledge you all have at your fingertips!"

"Indeed. It's too bad we waste so much time fighting for influence and summoning demons."

Another giggle, and then Dagna continued her thought. "I shared our theory--"

"Your theory, I only agree with it."

" _Our_ theory. We're in this together! Anyway, this healer-turned-something-else. He got soooo excited about it Dorian, even though he's more interested in what this could mean when it comes to the Blight. Not for any specific reason, of course," she said while shifting her weight from foot to foot. Dorian adored the way she wore her heart on her sleeve, but he needed to suggest to Varric that he teach her how to be a little more discreet. "Even though applications towards helping Grey Wardens could be... but that's not what I wanted to say. He's agreed to send us some of his texts through Varric's network, and they should really help. If you're not against the idea, Varric even thinks that maybe he could get this, uhm, contact into Skyhold, or help us meet him somewhere else."

"Having this 'contact' come to Skyhold seems like a wonderful way to start a riot or incite a hanging. _If_ we decide to meet him, it should be somewhere else. Where possible, however, we should stick to exchanging letters."

"Hmmmm. I guess. Humans are so strange about this sort of thing. He's promised to start looking into conditions caused by something living in a host's body. If we let him focus on that, we can keep poking at lyrium to see if we can really prove it's alive. Dorian. If it's _alive_ \--"

"It changes everything, I know."

"They might even consider me for a Paragon nomination. Wouldn't that be something? A surface dwarf specializing in magical studies with a statue in Orzammar. They would _hate_ it Dorian," she said cheerfully, bouncing a little as she went for the latest sample of lyrium. It was terrifying, really, how unconcerned she seemed to be with handling the stuff safely. "I'd never get to see it, of course, but knowing it's there... oh it would be wonderful."

"I'm sure it would, sweet. Now could we perhaps take a bit more care with the lyrium?"

"Dorian, you have no sense of adventure."

"I believe what you mean is that I have an overpowering instinct for survival."

"Dorian! Survival is second to knowledge. Knowledge is everything, and discovering it is an adventure!"

He really did love her, mad impulses and all. As much as she was willing to share this discovery with him, Dorian vowed that he wouldn't let the way she had lead their research be forgotten. Just as he would make sure bards sang of the fallen Bull's Chargers, he would make sure Dagna's name was on as many lips as possible. He wouldn't let humans - and especially not the Chantry - erase her from the discovery. And even if she could never see her (possible) Paragon statue in Orzammar, he would make sure that one was built in her honer where she could see it.

~.~.~

Kattrin had agreed to keep Felix with her while Dorian greeted Cullen at the gate. While he knew Felix would bring cheer to everyone returning, the pup would also make something of a scene, and they would be out in the cold forever. With a light snow falling and Dorian's plans for his _amatus_ , he had no intentions of lingering outside any longer than he had to. Felix would get his chance to welcome his papa home later.

Everyone who had traveled to Val Royeaux had done so on horseback. Dorian suspected that Cullen had pushed for that to ensure the errand could be over as quickly as possible. Sometimes Dorian thought that for all his fear and distrust of magic, Cullen would rather deal with Tevinter mages than Orlesian nobles.

After all, he was quite happy to deal with one very dashing _Altus_ already.

Knowing Cullen would be riding on a steed was far different than seeing it. Dorian found watching Cullen swing down from his saddle to be nearly a religious experience. His trip had been far less demanding than the last venture Dorian had gone on, so he was smiling and well-rested as he pulled off his gloves and walked forward. Dorian thought it was incredibly unfair, but he was also pleased to see his _amatus_ was no worse for wear.

They didn't run to each other this time - neither one needed that level of emotional comfort - but they still put on something of a show. As soon as Cullen reached him, he wrapped one arm snugly around Dorian's waist and reeled him in. Once they were pressed together from chest to thigh with Cullen's other hand cupping Dorian's jaw, he caught Dorian's mouth in a kiss that didn't even begin as soft. His Commander immediately licked inside and took Dorian's mouth with strokes of his tongue that felt delightfully needy. Cullen shifted his hand to splay his fingers possessively over Dorian's back and changed their positions just enough that his thigh was lightly presses between Dorian's legs.

Dorian could really only hold on for the ride, fingers fisted in Cullen's cloak and desire uncurling low in his belly. He had alluded to the idea that he was in no way adverse to such displays, and Cullen had apparently taken it to heart. The whistling, laughter and hooting from the people around them didn't bother him in the slightest, though when Cullen finally pulled back his Commander was blushing. "I missed you," he breathed against Dorian's lips. His tone bordered on reverent, and the thumb he swiped over Dorian's beauty mark was tender.

"Evidently," Dorian said with a smile, giving Cullen a much shorter, sweeter kiss. "I missed you too, _amatus_. Do you have to report to your little war council directly, or may I demand you fall in and follow me to our quarters instead?"

Cullen laughed and pulled back, though he slid his hand to Dorian's hip and stayed there. "Has Cassandra been teaching you military terms?"

"She tries her best to clutter my brain with things like that, yes. Once you're rested, I demand that you duel her to defend my honor. She made me whack at her with pointy sticks half a dozen times while you were gone. It was a terrible, traumatizing experience."

"And yet you're still standing," Cullen said with a grin that undid him completely. "To answer your earlier question, yes I do need to go speak to Leliana, Josephine and the Inquisitor. It should only be for a short time, however, and then I can join you in our quarters."

"Very well. But if you take too long I shall come looking for you and drag you away with me."

"I'll be sure to warn them," Cullen murmured easily, bestowing one last kiss before he stepped back from Dorian completely. "Would you mind taking my bags with you?"

"First you abandon me, than you put off our romantic rendezvous, and now you expect me to haul your luggage for you? I do believe I am deeply offended. I shall do it only because I adore you so."

"Thank you Dorian," Cullen said, tone full of amusement. "Will you also give our Barkon a scratch behind the ears for me and tell him I'll be along soon?"

"Felix is with Kattrin and will remain there for a while longer." Dorian leaned in and put his mouth to Cullen's ear, making the man shiver when he spoke. "I have plans for you, _amatus_ , that do not include a dog."

"Oh. Ah. Let me... I'll leave for the War Room at once." Cullen was flustered and had started to blush again. He hurried off without saying another word, and Dorian was flattered by his eagerness to get official business done quickly. Ignoring the teasing he was getting from those Inquisition forces that still remained in the courtyard, Dorian gathered Cullen's things before one of the stable hands led Cullen's horse away. The trip to their rooms was a short one, but then he had to try his hand at being patient.

It was a test he almost always failed.

He could have spent the time unpacking Cullen's things, but he didn't want his _amatus_ to get used to the idea of Dorian working. That was far beneath his dignity as an _Altus_ from the Imperium, and that 'fight' with his Commander would be a fun one. Instead he picked up a book and pretended he was in a state to read it. He wasn't, of course, too busy thinking about Cullen and what they could do to each other when he arrived.

That took longer than he would have liked, but not long enough for him to follow through on his earlier threat. As soon as he heard the door start to open he was on his feet. He even let his book tumble to the ground and lay there, because getting to Cullen was far more important. Dorian didn't often get to manhandle his lover, but he did manage to push Cullen against the door once it was closed. Cullen grunted before chuckling quietly, hands going to Dorian's hips. "So your plan for me--"

" _Amatus_?"

"Yes?'

"Do shut up." Before Cullen could answer, Dorian attacked his lower lip with a series of nips and tugs that soon had Cullen chasing after him for something more substantial. While he let Dorian keep him pressed back against the door, he didn't let his hands remain idle; they wandered up Dorian's back before sliding back downward and then under Dorian's trousers. He couldn't help but let out a quiet moan at that, distracted from his teasing. Cullen quickly pressed his advantage and was soon ravishing Dorian's mouth again. Dorian had intended on leading things, but already he was lost; it was hard to keep his head when every sense was filled with Cullen.

So even though he had started out as the aggressor, Dorian's knees were already weak and only Cullen's firm grip on his ass was keeping him upright. The way Cullen was kneading at his flesh and teasingly pulling his cheeks apart every so often certainly didn't help mattes. When his questing fingers curled inward, Dorian broke their heated kiss to pant against Cullen's mouth.

"Bed," he demanded breathlessly. Cullen's only answer was to fix his mouth on Dorian's through, biting down before sucking hard. His Commander did love to mark him, and all the carefully, lovingly made bruises on Dorian's skin had faded in his absence. "Cullen," he keened, gripping Cullen's shoulders hard. "There were... there were plans. Painstaking... ah..." It was entirely unfair, the way Cullen knew that any time his thigh found its way between Dorian's legs and pressed against his cock Dorian's brain melted to mush. "Plans. Bed now or... mmmm... Cullen."

His _amatus_ had started a steady rhythm, rocking his thigh up into Dorian's quickly growing erection. Cullen was half-hard already as well and didn't appear to be at all interested in moving their activities elsewhere. "I've just come home, Dorian," he said softly, lips brushing over Dorian's skin. "That means I'm dirty, yes? I thought I wasn't allowed on the bed in that condition."

Cullen was still verbal, and it was ridiculously unfair of him.

It took some doing to get out of Cullen's grip. Dorian had to practically wrestle Cullen's hands out of his trousers, and the both of them were giving huffs of laughter by the time he managed. "You're impossible," he said quietly, fondly. "Come to bed." Still holding Cullen's wrists, he tugged the man toward their bedroom, walking backward. The soft moment didn't last long, because Cullen had soon swooped in and hoisted Dorian up by the back of his thighs.

He didn't mean to yelp at the move, but one escaped nonetheless. Dorian hurried to wrap his arms around Cullen's shoulders and locked his legs around Cullen's waist. Even as he went back to sucking bruises into Dorian's neck, he was headed for the bedroom with swift, sure strides.

As soon as he saw the bed though, he started to laugh. Dorian hid his grin by tucking his face against Cullen's neck. If his Commander wasn't so worried about his dignity, he would have started work on leaving a bruise of his own there. Alas, any mark he made needed to be somewhere that could be hidden by clothes. "Cotton sheets? Really Dorian?"

"I didn't know how dirty you would be," Dorian defended. He made sure to sound more offended than he actually was, pleased at the way Cullen's shoulders were still shaking with suppressed laughter. "Do you have any idea what silken sheets _cost_?"

"I do, actually," Cullen rumbled as he squeezed Dorian's thighs. "I purchased a set in Val Royeaux, remember? I can't wait to see you spread out on them. Your _letter_ Dorian. I think you may kill me if you insist on writing such things every time one of us is away."

"I just want to make sure you're thinking of me."

"Oh, I thought about you alright." Cullen started walking again, and when he reached the bed he set Dorian down on it carefully. "I thought about you here, alone in our bed using your own hands to bring yourself pleasure. Did you, Dorian?" he urged, stepping back to begin taking off his armor. Dorian had meant to be the one to take it off, but Cullen was turning all his plans on their head. He was fine with that, really. Especially since Cullen was letting it all fall where it would instead of putting it away properly. That alone said an awful lot about how much Cullen had thought about him while he was away.

"Yes," he breathed, both in answer to Cullen's question and the way his lover was quickly stripping down to bare skin. "Every night. It wasn't the same though, _amatus_. Even when I thought of you, even when I was wearing your shirts so I could smell you... it wasn't the same. I _need_ you, Cullen. You've ruined me for anyone else."

"Good." Cullen's voice was a possessive growl, his eyes dark with lust as he looked down at Dorian. All he had on now was a pair of those Blighted leather trousers, the ones Dorian still hadn't had a chance to enjoy properly. From the way Cullen was palming his cock through them, Dorian had a feeling this wasn't the day it would happen either. Cullen looked magnificent like that, however, bare chested with a hungry look on his face and he was all Dorian's. Every scarred, muscled, hairy inch was _his_ , and he couldn't help but feel a little smug at the visible evidence of how much he effected his Commander.

"You're mine," Cullen continued as if he was reading Dorian's thoughts. "No one else gets to touch you the way I do, not ever. I want to take you apart with my hands and mouth, Dorian, until you're weeping and screaming my name." Cullen was stalking closer to the bed - there was no other way to describe his smooth, feline grace as he moved. "I'm going to fuck you so hard, so deep, that no one and nothing else satisfies you ever again. Do you know why, Dorian?"

When he came to a stop, Dorian's mouth was almost level with Cullen's cock. Impatiently he shoved Cullen's hand aside and began to mouth at it through his trousers, feeling it jerk under his attention as he did. "Why, Cullen?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer. He wanted to hear Cullen say it again, then again and again, over and over for the rest of their lives. Cullen didn't answer him right away, however, too busy rumbling with pleasure when Dorian undid the fastenings of his trousers. They slid down only a little, but it was enough to let Dorian get his hands under them. While his left hand slid back to get hold of one of Cullen's cheeks, he wrapped the right around Cullen's length and gave it a few firm strokes.

"You're _mine_ ," Cullen told him again, eyes almost glowing. "I want you undressed and spread out for me by the time I get the oil and get out of my trousers." He softened the firm command by cupping Dorian's jaw again, touch tender. "Can you do that for me sweetheart?" Though he was reluctant to take his hands of Cullen, Dorian nodded and did so. "Good. Now do it."

Cullen was strutting as he turned and walked away, the swell of his ass _just_ visible over the waistband of his trousers. For a moment, all Dorian could do was stare at that and the way the muscles of Cullen's back moved. Then he remembered his task and was quick to obey his Commander's order. Having fully expected their reunion to turn carnal, he'd worn simple clothes that were easy to remove. Well before Cullen was easing out of his trousers, he was naked on the bed; it was strange to feel cotton against his bare skin, but he supposed it wasn't all that terrible.

He suddenly found himself wondering what it would be like to make love on top of furs. It only showed how much his tastes had been corrupted by Fereldan sensibilities.

After a moment's thought, he grabbed a pillow and rolled over onto his stomach. The pillowcases were still silk - which was a shame, in some ways but perfect in others. He tucked it under his hips, angling it so he would be rutting against it with every thrust Cullen made, then grabbed another to put underneath it. Pillows were a gift from the Maker really, and he had thoroughly explored all the ways they could make sex more enjoyable.

The pillows took some of the pressure off his back, arching it naturally as he spread his legs for Cullen's ease and appreciation. Usually both of them preferred to be face to face when in bed together, but he thought Cullen might enjoy the change. Besides, after their separation, brief as it had been, and with the way their initial reunion had gone, Dorian knew this wasn't going to be sweet, tender love making. Cullen wanted to _fuck_ him, and Dorian wanted the same. He wanted something fast and rough and hard; he wanted Cullen to own him.

They could be sweet to each other later. Just then all Dorian wanted was to have Cullen inside of him.

When he felt the bed dip behind him, Dorian looked over his shoulder and found Cullen staring at him with naked hunger again. "So perfect for me," he whispered before crawling forward to press a kiss to the nape of Dorian's neck. He then trailed his mouth down Dorian's body, pressing a lingering kiss to every knob in his spine. When Cullen reached his tailbone, Dorian was trembling with anticipation... only for Cullen to bit down on his left cheek hard enough to make him cry out.

"Cullen!" he protested, not bothering to fight his urge to laugh. Before Cullen, he hadn't known laughter during sex happened, or that it could be so wonderful.

"You just look so delicious," Cullen teased back, going so far as to snap his teeth at Dorian.

"Do shut up and get your fingers inside me, or I swear by the Maker I'll--" his words were halted by a stuttering gasp that turned to a moan when Cullen promptly obeyed the order. He pressed one finger - thicker than Dorian's, calloused from years of swordplay - against Dorian's entrance. In one firm, smooth push he buried it inside of Dorian before draping himself over Dorian's back.

"You'll what?" he murmured as he twisted his finger a few times before starting up a steady, urgent rhythm. It was useless to try and persuade Cullen to start with two fingers to hurry the preparation along; he was adamant in his refusal to hurt Dorian even accidentally. But after several more thrusts and another dollop of oil, Cullen was already pressing a second finger in - he must be even more eager than Dorian had thought.

"I'll... I'll pout at you," Dorian managed through his moans of pleasure. He felt Cullen grin against his shoulder before his _amatus_ bit down again, making his hips jerk forward. Cullen's fingers were twisting as they pumped in and out, slick sounds from the oil beginning to fill the air. He was so hard that he _ached_ , but Dorian didn't want to run the risk of finishing before Cullen was even inside of him so he resisted the urge to take himself in hand. Cullen, however, already had one fist wrapped around his length and was stroking himself when Dorian looked over his shoulder again. If it wasn't for the obscene gleam of oil left in his hand's wake, Dorian would have perhaps been a bit miffed.

"I wish you would," Cullen returned hoarsely, pulling his fingers out entirely for one awful moment. Just as Dorian was about to protest, he felt three thick fingers line themselves up, and then he was giving a muffled cry as they pressed inward. "Your _mouth_ Dorian... I love any excuse to look at it, to think about how it feels wrapped around my cock." Cullen was being unusually vocal, and he was loving every moment, especially since Cullen didn't seem to mind when Dorian could only whimper and push back against his fingers. "So perfect," he said again, twisting his fingers just right so he could hit Dorian's prostate.

Dorian's hips bucked, and he couldn't help but give another soft cry as his cock slid over wet satin. When he tried to press against it again to find some relief, Cullen wrapped one hand, still wet and slick with oil, around Dorian's hip. "No," he growled, holding Dorian in place while he aimed for the same spot twice more, leaving Dorian writhing and moaning beneath him. "Not until I'm inside."

"Cullen, I'm ready, I swear just... please..." he pleaded, clenching around Cullen's fingers. "Please, I need you, need more..."

Thankfully Cullen was as impatient as he was, because the next time he pulled his fingers out Dorian felt the blunt head of Cullen's cock press against his entrance. There was no more teasing, only Cullen's hands gripping Dorian's hips hard enough to bruise as he entered Dorian in one long, smooth thrust. And while Dorian hadn't lied, exactly, it had been less preparation than he was used to. Cullen was spreading him open so perfectly, with just an edge of discomfort that Dorian knew would quickly turn to pleasure.

By the time Cullen was fully seated inside of him, Dorian was panting against the bed sheets, hips wiggling in a useless attempt to find some kind of relief for himself. Cullen had his forehead pressed against Dorian's shoulders, breathing just as fast and hot against his skin. Dorian could feel Cullen trembling above him, probably holding himself back from beginning to thrust. For Cullen's own peace of mind, Dorian waited until he had adjusted to the feel of being so wonderfully full before rocking back against Cullen.

"Take me," he demanded before reaching back with one hand to grab hold of Cullen's hip. "Take what you need, _amatus_." Cullen growled against his skin, biting down once more as he began to move.

Just as Dorian had thought and wanted, Cullen set a hard, demanding pace. Dorian didn't waste any time before yanking one pillow out from under him and taking himself in hand. As Cullen grunted above him, chasing his own pleasure, Dorian stroked his cock in time with those hard thrusts. It was everything he'd missed while Cullen was away, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer. Not with Cullen's scent surrounding him, stronger and more _real_ than what Dorian managed to get from Cullen's shirts. Not with Cullen's weight draped over him and the feel of his cock pounding into him.

An almost embarrassingly short time later, he spilled his seed while crying out Cullen's name. It was a stronger, better orgasm than he had had since the night before Cullen's departure. He felt it in every nerve of his body, right down to his toes, and for a moment he thought he might pass out from the sheer bliss of the moment.

Cullen was still thrusting above him, though as soon as Dorian had clenched around him at the start of his climax Cullen's thrusts had turned unsteady. It kept Dorian from basking right away, oversensitive flesh twitching at Cullen's continued attention... but that was perfectly alright. There was a different sort of pleasure in having Cullen use him as Dorian laid there, spent and sated.

It wasn't much longer before Cullen slammed into him one last time and came with a hoarse shout. Once he had finished, he practically collapsed on top of Dorian. He enjoyed the weight of his _amatus_ at first; it was comforting, grounding. Cullen was solidly built, however, and soon that sense of comfort dissipated. They were sweaty and the pillow beneath him was disgusting, but Dorian wasn't ready to let Cullen go just yet. It took a bit of careful maneuvering, but he managed to nudge Cullen into rolling them onto their sides without slipping out of Dorian.

Having Cullen's arm around his waist was better than supporting the whole of his weight. It was early afternoon, which was really no time for a nap. Cullen was probably hungry and they had a Barkon to fetch... and Dorian didn't want to move another muscle. Though he didn't speak, Cullen seemed to agree. He didn't urge Dorian to get up, didn't rise himself for a wash clothe to clean them up. When the sweat cooling on his skin made Dorian shiver, it was Cullen who managed to pull a blanket over the both of them.

"Mine," his Commander whispered again in Dorian's ear just before he started to fall asleep. He sounded unbearably smug about it, but Dorian supposed that was alright. "Love you."

"Love you too. Now shut up and go to sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a [Tumblr](http://tahlreth.tumblr.com), if you wanna stop by, say hi or drop me an ask/prompt. I'm trying to get in the habit of doing 15-30 minute writing bursts every day, and I could use a starting point sometimes. :'D I usually won't build on them, but whatever I write during those periods will be posted on AO3 if they're fandom-related.
> 
> Thanks again for reading, maybe leave a comment even though I've been awful at replying to them lately. They always make my day.


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